But In The Cultural Sense, I Just Speak In Future Tense

Can we PLEASE talk about Lady Gaga's newest single, "Judas"?

This monstrosity of a song was leaked (or, shall we say 'leaked') on April 15th, four days earlier than expected by the majority of the world's population. And I mean it, this is a monster of a song. Upon hearing it for the first time, I could only describe it as "what would happen if you locked ABBA in an asylum and made them sing hardcore German house music". There's a sort of schizophrenia to the track, with Gaga demonstrating her soft spot for 80s pop during the chorus (which actually has me thinking a lot of Cascada's "Everytime We Touch"), but evidently torn between this and modern industrial techno.

It's very much a successor to the throne previously held by "Poker Face" and "Bad Romance", but at it's lighter points, it always feels more sparkles and sequins than "Poker Face", and at it's darkest, it is definitely more deranged than "Bad Romance". Conceptually, the swinging between the two extremes works in Gaga's favour, as the song is about a woman torn between two men (Jesus and Judas, but strip away the Biblical references and thematically, it's just a bad romance with a good romance thrown into the mix) who are essentially polar opposites of good and evil. But it seems that this might prove to be a pitfall for a lot of fans and critics alike, with more than one declaring that the chorus sounds like it comes from another song. That's all well and good, but Gaga thrives on the conceptual side of music, so there is certainly the argument to be made for judgement being held specifically in that arena.

I think it's safe to say that no one is safe from Mother Monster. In all honesty, can you not just picture in your minds all of the strictly religious parents marking April 19th as the day that they rid their homes of anything that might allow their children to get their hands on this song? But then, beyond all expectations -- actually, I take that back, I think it's about time we expect the unexpected from Lady Gaga -- the song catches everyone off guard and appears early? Holy balls, you can't protect yourself, and quite frankly, it's useless to try against a woman clearly more skilled in guerrilla warfare than Che Guevara and Fidel Castro.

Earlier in this post, I put 'leaked' in quotation marks. Well, for those of you who aren't aware, Judas betrayed Jesus to the Jews, and then Jesus was crucified by the Romans. One might interpret the leaking of a highly anticipated single as being a betrayal of Gaga's trust. Now, I'm not saying that Gaga necessarily leaked the song on a fake Youtube account because the concept fit oh so perfectly with the title of the song. But I might be implying that. Strongly.

It helps if you think about the dates as well. Four days prior to the actual release date? Forgive me if I'm not clear on my Biblical facts... but didn't Judas betray Jesus four days before the Resurrection? And I don't think there is any doubt that dates were important to Gaga in deciding when this song would released, with the proposed drop falling scandalously close to Easter.

I'm not positive on any of this, obviously. But with the amount of thought that Gaga puts into everything she does certainly makes this all plausible. Lord knows she's been verbally crucified in the last few days as a result of this song, which is, admittedly, rather confrontational from the Christian perspective (Hold on to your holy water though, the video will be one hell of a ride; I daresay Amanda Ware would call it "a wet fish to the face".); but I wonder what we can expect from Gaga on the 19th? Attendees of that Nashville show, be warily excited for what's in store: I have a feeling she might have something special brewing for you...

So what do you reckon? Are you in love with "Judas"? Or has Gaga preyed on religion one too many times?

Peace, love, and floating,
Gill Ford